FALL IN!

by Craig Castleberry

Scripture:  Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth.  II Timothy 2: 23-25

Theme:  Kindness.  We need it!

Cast:  Sarge, Private Lee, Private First, Private Class, Private Pyle

(The scene opens with Sarge calling out to the privates.  The privates run in and stand in a line facing Sarge.)

Sarge:  Privates!!!  Fall in!!!  MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT!

(Sarge begins to inspect the privates walking up and down their line with head looking up and down.  Stopping from time to time, shaking head with disapproval.  Tilting a head or straightening an arm is not unusual for this Sarge.)

Sarge:  You are 15 seconds late and we have some ground to cover today privates!  Is that understood?

Privates:  (All together) Sir, yes sir!

Sarge:  Today I have the unfortunate task of teaching a new method to our company. You must listen carefully as I debrief you on these new methods.  Is that understood privates?

Privates:  (All together) Sir, yes sir!

Private Lee:  (Raises his hand)

Sarge:  (Runs up to the face of Lee) What seems to be the problem, Private Lee?

Private Lee:  Sir, what will be the subject for the day?

Sarge:  (Agitated) I was just getting to that, Lee.  (Walking back in front of the privates)  Today’s method will be “How to be nice to others.”  Does anyone have a problem with that?

Private First:  Permission to speak, Sarge.

Sarge:  Denied, Private First!  Now, first you must realize that people are more likely to listen to you and understand you and want to be around you if they think that you like them.  Privates, do you like me?

Privates:  (All together) Sir, yes sir!

Private Class:  Permission to speak, Sarge.

Sarge:  Denied, Private Class!  And because you like me, you have heard every word I said.  And those who do not hear every word I say will hit the ground and give me 50. Is that understood?

Privates:  (All together) Sir, yes sir!

Sarge:  I CAN’T HEAR YOU!

Privates:  (Louder) Sir, yes sir!

(Private Pyle raises his hand)

Sarge:  What is it Pyle?

Pyle:  When does lunch start?

Sarge:  Pyle, what is your first name?  

Pyle:  Grover, sir.

Sarge:  Grover Pyle?  Your momma didn’t like you, did she Pyle?

Pyle:  I don’t know, she told me she did yesterday.

Sarge:  That’s enough Pyle.  We should be ready for worship now.  Fall out and get in there to greet all of those people and be on the alert.  DISMISSED!

(Sarge and Privates First and Class leave while Lee and Pyle remain)

Lee:  Don’t worry, Pyle.  Being a church usher wasn’t always like this.  We just needed some organization and things are a little more... strict, now.  You’ll get used to it.

Pyle:  Shazaaam!

Sarge:  (From offstage) Pyle and Lee, people in pew 17C are not being greeted!

(Pyle and Lee bump into each other and then run offstage)

THE END

STUDY QUESTIONS

Do you know people who think they are friendly, but they really are not?

If a new visitor walked into your church, would they experience friendliness?

What things would you say to a new guest if you were standing right in front of them?

If you were the only person a new guest talked to, what would their impression be of your church?  

©2004 by Craig Castleberry

www.freechurchskits.com

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